Medetations on tumblr purity wank
Feb. 5th, 2019 03:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anarfeaI’ve never understood this anti argument of, “try going outside and telling random strangers what you defend online and see what happens.”
They think it’s some sort of trump card, like, if your average rando would be uncomfortable with this it must be wrong!
First, your average rando is grossed out by same-sex relationships and the existence of trans people. Surprise surprise, antis, if you told them what you ship (totally wholesome, unproblematic smoll gay beans loving and supporting each other) they’d be grossed out by you, too. This is why you don’t let the opinions of your average sex-negative, homophobic puritan determine whether or not you should be ashamed of your sexuality.
Second, discussing your kinks with random people is not fucking appropriate. There is a time and place to discuss your sexual interests and with random strangers that didn’t ask about your sexual interests ain’t it. But, antis generally don’t understand boundaries, so it doesn’t surprise me that they suggest people do this.
So no, I’m not going to go up to random people and tell them that I read and write “problematic” fic.
However, the people in my life whose opinions matter, like my spouse, my close friends, my therapists…. All these people know my abuse history, and that I write this stuff to process trauma and connect with other survivors, and all of them think that is healthy and okay. That’s all the reassurance and validation that I need.
You can’t frighten me into shame and silence by telling me that your average rando thinks I’m a pervert. Your average rando is wrong about a great many things. This is one of them.
They think it’s some sort of trump card, like, if your average rando would be uncomfortable with this it must be wrong!
First, your average rando is grossed out by same-sex relationships and the existence of trans people. Surprise surprise, antis, if you told them what you ship (totally wholesome, unproblematic smoll gay beans loving and supporting each other) they’d be grossed out by you, too. This is why you don’t let the opinions of your average sex-negative, homophobic puritan determine whether or not you should be ashamed of your sexuality.
Second, discussing your kinks with random people is not fucking appropriate. There is a time and place to discuss your sexual interests and with random strangers that didn’t ask about your sexual interests ain’t it. But, antis generally don’t understand boundaries, so it doesn’t surprise me that they suggest people do this.
So no, I’m not going to go up to random people and tell them that I read and write “problematic” fic.
However, the people in my life whose opinions matter, like my spouse, my close friends, my therapists…. All these people know my abuse history, and that I write this stuff to process trauma and connect with other survivors, and all of them think that is healthy and okay. That’s all the reassurance and validation that I need.
You can’t frighten me into shame and silence by telling me that your average rando thinks I’m a pervert. Your average rando is wrong about a great many things. This is one of them.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-07 04:52 am (UTC)I also do think that there are changes to people's ideas about privacy. Didn't Mark Zuckerberg say that people shouldn't have an expectation of online privacy anymore? Or something similar. Anyway yeah I think people, especially on tumblr, are posting more and more really personal details about their lives because there's this idea that the more marginalized you are, the more right you have to speak on certain topics. This maybe originates from the good instinct to want to give a bigger platform to people who have been historically denied it, but it can have some really dangerous consequences. I remember some story, I think it was someone in Hamilton fandom, pretended to be an HIV positive POC because she was writing a fic in which Hamilton characters were HIV+, and then the whole thing just got out of control and she had this whole fake story about her and her fake Black wife (who I think was her sock puppet) and was asking for donations and stuff, and then people found out she was White and the whole thing blew up in a huge way.
So yeah, it is kind of skin crawling.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-07 05:17 am (UTC)but it gets BETTER, she got outed by someone who held a grudge because "hiv-living" had purity-wanked them over their Lin-Manuel Miranda RPF cannibal mermaid fic.
It is the most Tumblr thing that ever Tumbld. I think rational people can all agree that fandom is better off with more cannibal mermaid fic and fewer people scamming for money and credibility by lying elaborately about their entire lives.
Every time one of those posts goes around about how older people who don't list their exact age on their profiles are creepy because minors might think they're close to them in age...and it's like it never occurred to those people, the very obvious fact that PREDATORS LIE. I mean, do you really think everyone who claims to be 17 in their bio really is? Really? If you do, the naivete there is far more worrying than the existence of people who just say "adult" but don't get more specific, y'know?
no subject
Date: 2019-02-07 06:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-10 02:07 am (UTC)Star Wars fandom, apparently. Wonder which character is going to have Space AIDS.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-10 08:52 pm (UTC)