Medetations on tumblr purity wank
Feb. 5th, 2019 03:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anarfeaI’ve never understood this anti argument of, “try going outside and telling random strangers what you defend online and see what happens.”
They think it’s some sort of trump card, like, if your average rando would be uncomfortable with this it must be wrong!
First, your average rando is grossed out by same-sex relationships and the existence of trans people. Surprise surprise, antis, if you told them what you ship (totally wholesome, unproblematic smoll gay beans loving and supporting each other) they’d be grossed out by you, too. This is why you don’t let the opinions of your average sex-negative, homophobic puritan determine whether or not you should be ashamed of your sexuality.
Second, discussing your kinks with random people is not fucking appropriate. There is a time and place to discuss your sexual interests and with random strangers that didn’t ask about your sexual interests ain’t it. But, antis generally don’t understand boundaries, so it doesn’t surprise me that they suggest people do this.
So no, I’m not going to go up to random people and tell them that I read and write “problematic” fic.
However, the people in my life whose opinions matter, like my spouse, my close friends, my therapists…. All these people know my abuse history, and that I write this stuff to process trauma and connect with other survivors, and all of them think that is healthy and okay. That’s all the reassurance and validation that I need.
You can’t frighten me into shame and silence by telling me that your average rando thinks I’m a pervert. Your average rando is wrong about a great many things. This is one of them.
They think it’s some sort of trump card, like, if your average rando would be uncomfortable with this it must be wrong!
First, your average rando is grossed out by same-sex relationships and the existence of trans people. Surprise surprise, antis, if you told them what you ship (totally wholesome, unproblematic smoll gay beans loving and supporting each other) they’d be grossed out by you, too. This is why you don’t let the opinions of your average sex-negative, homophobic puritan determine whether or not you should be ashamed of your sexuality.
Second, discussing your kinks with random people is not fucking appropriate. There is a time and place to discuss your sexual interests and with random strangers that didn’t ask about your sexual interests ain’t it. But, antis generally don’t understand boundaries, so it doesn’t surprise me that they suggest people do this.
So no, I’m not going to go up to random people and tell them that I read and write “problematic” fic.
However, the people in my life whose opinions matter, like my spouse, my close friends, my therapists…. All these people know my abuse history, and that I write this stuff to process trauma and connect with other survivors, and all of them think that is healthy and okay. That’s all the reassurance and validation that I need.
You can’t frighten me into shame and silence by telling me that your average rando thinks I’m a pervert. Your average rando is wrong about a great many things. This is one of them.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-07 05:17 am (UTC)but it gets BETTER, she got outed by someone who held a grudge because "hiv-living" had purity-wanked them over their Lin-Manuel Miranda RPF cannibal mermaid fic.
It is the most Tumblr thing that ever Tumbld. I think rational people can all agree that fandom is better off with more cannibal mermaid fic and fewer people scamming for money and credibility by lying elaborately about their entire lives.
Every time one of those posts goes around about how older people who don't list their exact age on their profiles are creepy because minors might think they're close to them in age...and it's like it never occurred to those people, the very obvious fact that PREDATORS LIE. I mean, do you really think everyone who claims to be 17 in their bio really is? Really? If you do, the naivete there is far more worrying than the existence of people who just say "adult" but don't get more specific, y'know?
no subject
Date: 2019-02-07 06:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-10 02:07 am (UTC)Star Wars fandom, apparently. Wonder which character is going to have Space AIDS.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-10 08:52 pm (UTC)