Medetations on tumblr purity wank

[anarfea]

I’ve never understood this anti argument of, “try going outside and telling random strangers what you defend online and see what happens.”

They think it’s some sort of trump card, like, if your average rando would be uncomfortable with this it must be wrong!

First, your average rando is grossed out by same-sex relationships and the existence of trans people. Surprise surprise, antis, if you told them what you ship (totally wholesome, unproblematic smoll gay beans loving and supporting each other) they’d be grossed out by you, too. This is why you don’t let the opinions of your average sex-negative, homophobic puritan determine whether or not you should be ashamed of your sexuality.

Second, discussing your kinks with random people is not fucking appropriate. There is a time and place to discuss your sexual interests and with random strangers that didn’t ask about your sexual interests ain’t it. But, antis generally don’t understand boundaries, so it doesn’t surprise me that they suggest people do this.

So no, I’m not going to go up to random people and tell them that I read and write “problematic” fic.

However, the people in my life whose opinions matter, like my spouse, my close friends, my therapists…. All these people know my abuse history, and that I write this stuff to process trauma and connect with other survivors, and all of them think that is healthy and okay. That’s all the reassurance and validation that I need.

You can’t frighten me into shame and silence by telling me that your average rando thinks I’m a pervert. Your average rando is wrong about a great many things. This is one of them.

Comments

[vulgarweed]

It really is just like religion for them, isn't it? Confess your sins! Present yourself to be judged! Stand in the pillories and take your shame, you hussy!

I mean, there's a lot of humor to be mined out of people going around everywhere and opining at great length about their Snarry or their Sheriarty or whatever - and the camera cuts over and some exasperated barista is just trying to get the lattes made. But on some darker level I wonder if confession culture, callout culture, and snoopy social media is changing expectations around privacy. You're expected to list all your demographic info, including your traumas and illnesses, on your public profile so people can judge whether you're qualified to hold opinions or make creative work based on that. It's really really skin-crawling.

[anarfea]

I think there are definitely parallels to evangelical Christianity. There's a lot of people who talk about this in language of repentance. Like "I used to read that sick stuff until I discovered purity culture and now I'm a new person!" I suspect this is because a lot of antis were raised in conservative households and have that authoritarian mindset which they continue to carry even though they move to the left because they're gay.

I also do think that there are changes to people's ideas about privacy. Didn't Mark Zuckerberg say that people shouldn't have an expectation of online privacy anymore? Or something similar. Anyway yeah I think people, especially on tumblr, are posting more and more really personal details about their lives because there's this idea that the more marginalized you are, the more right you have to speak on certain topics. This maybe originates from the good instinct to want to give a bigger platform to people who have been historically denied it, but it can have some really dangerous consequences. I remember some story, I think it was someone in Hamilton fandom, pretended to be an HIV positive POC because she was writing a fic in which Hamilton characters were HIV+, and then the whole thing just got out of control and she had this whole fake story about her and her fake Black wife (who I think was her sock puppet) and was asking for donations and stuff, and then people found out she was White and the whole thing blew up in a huge way.

So yeah, it is kind of skin crawling.

[vulgarweed]

OH I remember that scandal. It went even deeper than that! They had a whole blog, HIV-living, about, well, living with HIV. They claimed to be a Chinese-Pakistani survivor of sex trafficking, and their wife was Black and also HIV+ and of two nationalities, and they were living in India. And they asked for money to help with medical treatments. That's what finally got her caught, someone realized the donations platform they were scamming people with isn't one that's used in India. She was a white American college girl who did not have HIV at all.

but it gets BETTER, she got outed by someone who held a grudge because "hiv-living" had purity-wanked them over their Lin-Manuel Miranda RPF cannibal mermaid fic.

It is the most Tumblr thing that ever Tumbld. I think rational people can all agree that fandom is better off with more cannibal mermaid fic and fewer people scamming for money and credibility by lying elaborately about their entire lives.

Every time one of those posts goes around about how older people who don't list their exact age on their profiles are creepy because minors might think they're close to them in age...and it's like it never occurred to those people, the very obvious fact that PREDATORS LIE. I mean, do you really think everyone who claims to be 17 in their bio really is? Really? If you do, the naivete there is far more worrying than the existence of people who just say "adult" but don't get more specific, y'know?

[anarfea]

Yes! The cannibal mermaid scandal. Anyway, talk about peak tumblr.

[vulgarweed]

Oh my Lord she's trying to come back: http://foxnewsfuckfest.tumblr.com/post/182693740497/alix-hivliving-is-trying-to-get-back-into-fandom

Star Wars fandom, apparently. Wonder which character is going to have Space AIDS.

[anarfea]

Wow. No words.